"I Know I Only Get Stronger Every Time I Fail!"
This is our training theme for the week. Please make sure your child and every student at the dojo greets you with the full "Hi, my name is Sophia and 'I know I only get stronger every time I fail!'"
Remember the words your child says, or more importantly repeats, get imprinted into their brains. You want them saying "Try My Best!" instead of "I hate school!" (BTW, don't ever let them say that!).
So for your ride home, or family dinner conversation all you have to do is change your and your child's "perspective". When you change someone's perspective, or how they look at something, you have the power to instantaneously change how they think. Change how they think and you change what they do. Change what they do and you change their habits, attitudes and their lives.
Here is the perspective change I want you and your child to make. Instead of thinking failure and making mistakes are 'bad', I want you to flip it over and replace it with this thought:
"Mistakes are GOOD!"
Now this does not mean that it is okay for your child to start intentionally failing in school, but we know all highly successful people have two powerful skills or traits - persistence and perseverance. These are only developed with hardship and failure! Character can only be developed through hardship and failure.
If you believe mistakes are bad you will work hard to avoid failure and mistakes. You will be crushed with even the slightest mistake. The thing that hold most people back is the fear of failure. The only way to avoid making a mistake or failing is to not even try!
So, have this powerful discussion with your child (and yourself). Stories work well. Talk about yourself and your life. Talk about other people they know that were either held back with the fear of failure or the people that excelled because they did not fear and actually loved making mistakes. Remember that you can only learn if you push yourself to fail. You cannot learn much when you stay within your comfort zone.
I will close with a short story about a good father. At the end of every day this father would ask his daughter "Anna, tell me what you failed at today?" If Anna had nothing to say the father would say"Well if you did not fail today then you did not try hard enough....."
Enjoy your ride home,
Sensei
Wow, cool post. I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real hard work to make a great article… but I put things off too much and never seem to get started. Thanks though. Kung Fu Classes